The Ghosts of Boyfriends Past

A long lost BFF recently came back into my life.....several years ago we had a nasty quarrel about a man and ended up going our separate ways.  It's not that I wanted that particular man; I knew that man was not right for her.  But it's like everything else that happens in our lives; to learn what we have to learn, we have to go through circumstances and situations first hand.  And this was something she had to experience.  When we hooked back up and she filled me in on what a first class jerk he turned out to be, I didn't say "I told you so", I said "Did you learn your lesson"?  We all have lessons to learn and it's not right to tell anyone how to live their life.  And it most certainly is not right to dictate to anyone whom they should spend their time with.

Tonight we got together and spent about 3 hours talking about all the old times we shared, some good and some not so good.  We laughed a lot and then she reminded me of some of the not so good times I spent with someone who had been in my life for 9 years; some things I had completely forgotten about.  And I wondered if I had made different choices/different decisions would I be the same person I am now.

There are times I stop and wonder what my life would be like if I had stayed married.  Would I feel safe, secure or would I feel trapped and stagnant?  Only God knows the answer to this......and if I had the opportunity to re-do my past I'm not so sure I would do anything differently.

I can say with certainty that I have chosen a wide variety of men to spend time with:  introverts, extroverts, losers, cheaters, liars, sociopaths and even a very egotistical one who professed to abhor drama (and managed to cause more than any woman I know!).

Why is it the ghosts of boyfriends past always manage to rear their ugly heads from time to time?  But then again maybe we need to be reminded of the lessons we are here to learn.