There are some nights that insomnia sets in and my mind gets to racing, sometimes way too fast.....and when that happens I begin to think about my past. Sometimes this soothes me and then other times I toss and turn thinking what could I have done to make things better.....or did I play the hand that I was dealt the way it was supposed to have been played.
I sometimes wonder where all the years went....was I too busy worrying about tomorrow to really enjoy today? Have I learned the lessons I was supposed to learn....have I aged way before my time...have I even reached my potential? I like to think that I am on the right track about some things....I am in the middle of some really big lessons and even though I am wading thru my issues with as much patience I can muster there are times I just want to throw up my hands and say enough!
Take for instance some of the men in my life I have truly loved....and for those of you who know me when I love, I love all the way....I've never done anything half-hearted in the love department and most likely never will.....so it comes as no surprise that one night during a bout with sleeplessness I decided to track down a couple of old lovers.....yep, there they were, right on Facebook.....and, yes, I will admit that when I saw their faces I felt the old pang of hurt....and I was especially glad to see that they have aged.....
Do they ever think of me, I wonder or was I just a footnote in their personal history....? Time is supposed to heal old wounds, but can time wound these old heels??? Hmmmm.....food for thought.....
